Damn Bloodsuckers.
To ward off vampires, I used to sleep with a large wooden cross that I made in Jeremy Knoke’s garage. I was terrified/obsessed with the children of the night and lived under the constant fear that my parents would mistakenly invite one in while I slept. The cross, I hoped, would be able to fend off the undead until dawn. Fortunately, I never had to use it.
Fast forward about 20 years. I’m doing battle with a different kind of bloodsucker: the bed bug. These little bastards don’t have the manners or sex appeal of Dracula and his minions. They come uninvited. They’re harder to kill.
I haven’t sleep well in a week. It seriously skeeves me out to think that they’re feasting on my blood every night. To make matters worse, they love to hide in wood. So not even my trusty old cross can save me now.
